epiphany, maybe

just went through the most turbulent 24hours of my life.
yesterday at this timing, i was feeling awful.
knowing how little i use this particular word, i guess, it's really AWFUL.

bad news, one after another, i don't know what i did to deserve these.

okay, so now i've gone through life and death, parting and marriage

i don't know what more to say.
i'm so much more zen than last night

結果是跟scone聊了, 才能夠這麼釋然
文界裡的偶像
一樣的, 我相信她們已經找到了跟彼此最合適的相處方式
我相信就算釋嫁人的任家萱還是會保留一種專屬, 特別的愛給田馥甄
阿碧仔也是
有愛可是不必上前去實踐這份愛
也許有過去, 可是她們也找到了最適合她們未來的定位
有愛就夠了
最好的關係, 也不總是是情人
她們應該有的相處方式, 我堅信她們已經找到了

掉了

詞 吳青峰 曲 吳青峰
演唱 張惠妹


心疼的玫瑰 半夜還開著 找不到匆匆掉落的花蕊
回到現場卻已來不及 等待任何回音都不可得
微弱的風箏 冬天裡飄著 回不去手中纏線的那個
沒有藍天 又何必去飛 怎麼適合

黑色笑靨掉了 雪白眼淚掉了 該出現的所有表情瞬間掉了
瞳孔沒有顏色 結了冰的長河 回憶是最可怕的敵人

故事情節掉了 主角對白掉了 該屬於劇中的對角戲也掉了
胸口沒有快樂 斷了翅的白鴿 不枯萎的藉口全掉了

曾經唱過的歌 分享過的笑聲 在心中不斷拉扯
想念不能承認 偷偷擦去淚痕 冬天過了還是會很冷

黑色笑靨掉了 雪白眼淚掉了 該出現的所有表情瞬間掉了
瞳孔沒有顏色 結了冰的長河 回憶是最可怕的敵人

故事情節掉了 主角對白掉了 該屬於劇中的對角戲也掉了
胸口沒有快樂 斷了翅的白鴿 不枯萎的藉口全掉了

---

回憶是最可怕的敵人

sorry, want to cry thanks to this
haven't liked a a-mei song so super much for quite a while
on loop big time.

awesome.

but it's like super hard to sing as well
(i wonder why 阿懸 fantastic friend 吳青峰has the ability to write more mainstream pop style, but she totally cannot. HMM)

they came and they went.
i think i'm hard to get along if you can't understand this.
or, rather.
i'm hard to get along deep enough?
i dunno.

can't begin to describe how awesome the 3 days were, really fantastic beyond words.
i don't think words do justice.

guess i will be stuck with withdrawal symptoms for quite a while.

shed tears like nuts during one period of the concert.
the drawing part when they got kids to act as their young selves.
the moment little hebe held up the paper i broke down in tears la, being too sentimental.
stranger guy beside me keep looking at me through corner of his eye i think.

and ni bu hui is making me sad all over again

right, actually it's joke's on you.
namely, ngee ann poly.
HAHA.

yeah yeah, i ranted big time after i realised they didn't accept me.
but guess what!
i applied for uol's business eventually, then np called me.
and they did so three times, with me not picking up the first two times since i was i dunno busy?

i even went down to check if i can appeal and what not, but they tell me full house.
friday decide to call and tell me they have got a vacancy for me.
simi lan sia!

annoying please, i'm not gonna subject myself to this nonsense.
especially after i already paid for my uol application.
okay my pride isn't so sore now after the 3 calls.
HAHHAHA.

and i'm gonna go uol after all
:D

may i survive business yo.

somebody out there, please tell me that np is having delayed april fool.
and that they dua me, whatever they post at my fucked up application page is not true and not fucked up.

ms andrea wong told me application results out.
SCARE ME FUCKING BIG TIME.
cause i thought the page said like, the application result only out at 9am, 5th april

hello, it's fucking 1am.
just like 1 hour into 5th april.
follow what you write on your website leh!
cui.

okay anyway, the page says unsuccessful.
i'm hyperventilating now.
and i can still very positively tell andrea, MAYBE NP DUA US. LATER IN THE MORNING THEN THE ACTUAL RESULT.
sounds so convincing and positive.
while i'm checking up on SIM.

and the application for SIM's already closed.

my hand is like cold as i'm typing this la!
fuck.

now my lifeline is ntu (and maybe if np really dua us, i doubt it though)
and ntu isn't even 0.1% lifeline la.

omg.

MY Os RESULT VERY BAD MEH?!
WHY DON'T WANNA ACCEPT ME.
WHERE GOT VERY BAD!
12points leh! 12 got very bad meh!?!?!?!?

and i jitao got HCL, CL both A1!
i'm bi-lingual!
i got A2 for my e.lit!

and i got As cert for my H2 chinese!
B leh!
where got cui, HELLO.

okay i'm so not prepared to be rejected by poly.
seriously, i'm not that stupid what, how come kena reject.
uni rejecting me is acceptable and totally reasonable.
but poly?!?!?

why like that!
okay, i'm having a calm look, and feeling innately stressed.

i think i'm so freaked out, i can't even freak out properly now.

omg.
if i get no where this year.
GUESS WHAT I AM GONNA DO.

RE TAKE A LEVELS.
HA.HA.

heng i'm too lazy to throw away all my notes.
I HATE YOU SEA HISTORY.
BUT I WILL LOVE YOU IF I KENA REJECTED BY ALL THE SCHOOLS.
MUACKXZZZXZX.

and i love math, did i mention.

okay, sincerely off my rocker.
amen.